Avoidance. Sometimes, what looks like helplessness is actually avoidance. A coachee once told me: “I really want to speak to my manager about my promotion. But I don’t think it will make any difference.” I asked, “Have you tried?”. “No.” “Why do you think it won’t work out?” “I know how my
A senior executive brought up a coaching topic – ‘I want to improve my health. Then I set a goal to finish a half marathon but not progressing at all”. I asked him, “Then what happened?’ “I used AI to create an elaborate training plan for 16 weeks. But I keep procrastinating”.
A coachee recently told me: “I think I should leave my job. My boss doesn’t motivate me.” I got curious and asked a few questions. Was the manager unfair? No. Was he biased against the coachee? No. Was he toxic or making it difficult for the person to do the job? Not
A founder came up with a not-so-strange topic for a coaching session. He wanted to become unaffected by what was happening around him, his startup, and life in general. His current state: He felt very stressed with the ups and downs in his startup. Some days were great, some days were not
The need to be understood. Have you noticed some people explain everything in great detail? At first, it usually feels like a good thing. They seem thoughtful, thorough etc. Strangers see them as good communicators. But sometimes, even after you’ve known them for years, they still start every story from the very
Feeling trapped vs seeing choices. One of the most challenging but rewarding parts of coaching is to make the coachee see that they always have choices. Typical narratives that coachees come up with – a) Founder is anxious – “My startup is neither scaling nor can I shut it down. I feel
A CXO friend is very sharp and dependable. He is the kind of person who comes out as a hero when things are messy and someone needs to bring things back under control. At work, this made him incredibly successful. His CEO trusted him, his team liked working with him because he
Spiritual bypassing of emotions When I ask some coachees how they felt about a situation or a loss, they end up explaining it using statements like: “I understand that this is all my ego that is causing this suffering”, “The universe is teaching me detachment”, “I am suffering due to my identity
Coachee: “I didn’t get the promotion I deserved” Me: “Okay… and how did that feel?” Coachee: It probably makes sense—could be budget, visibility, or org priorities.” Me: “Not the explanation. What did you feel?” Coachee: “I mean, these things happen. It’s part of the process. I should try harder next time” Me:
A coachee came to me with a frustration- “I keep postponing quite a few things indefinitely.” When asked about some examples, he mentioned – “I want to start exercising, write stories, and do AI courses. But somehow, I never seem to find the time for these.” Then he paused and added, “The
