Curiosity. A coachee often got triggered when his teenage daughter didn’t listen to him. We explored this and he came up with an idea: “Next time, instead of reacting, I will get curious about why she behaves that way.” A few days later, he got a chance. His daughter had collected chocolates
Is Imagining a waste of time? When I ask coachees to visualise a future state, some get uncomfortable. They ask – “Isn’t this basically daydreaming?”, “This is just imagination.”, “I would rather think practically about what I need to do.” etc. I understand the hesitation. But imagining an end state can do
When someone says they are completely rational and emotions don’t really matter in their life, I often wonder how much of that is really true. One way to see through this is to start with their goals. I ask them what they are trying to achieve. Then keep asking why. A coachee
The need to be extraordinary Can the desire to do extraordinary work actually get in the way of succeeding in a role? I was coaching a senior leader who had done well throughout his career, but things weren’t going well now. Stakeholders weren’t aligned, execution was getting harder, and the feedback wasn’t
Avoidance. Sometimes, what looks like helplessness is actually avoidance. A coachee once told me: “I really want to speak to my manager about my promotion. But I don’t think it will make any difference.” I asked, “Have you tried?”. “No.” “Why do you think it won’t work out?” “I know how my
A senior executive brought up a coaching topic – ‘I want to improve my health. Then I set a goal to finish a half marathon but not progressing at all”. I asked him, “Then what happened?’ “I used AI to create an elaborate training plan for 16 weeks. But I keep procrastinating”.
A coachee recently told me: “I think I should leave my job. My boss doesn’t motivate me.” I got curious and asked a few questions. Was the manager unfair? No. Was he biased against the coachee? No. Was he toxic or making it difficult for the person to do the job? Not
A founder came up with a not-so-strange topic for a coaching session. He wanted to become unaffected by what was happening around him, his startup, and life in general. His current state: He felt very stressed with the ups and downs in his startup. Some days were great, some days were not
The need to be understood. Have you noticed some people explain everything in great detail? At first, it usually feels like a good thing. They seem thoughtful, thorough etc. Strangers see them as good communicators. But sometimes, even after you’ve known them for years, they still start every story from the very
Feeling trapped vs seeing choices. One of the most challenging but rewarding parts of coaching is to make the coachee see that they always have choices. Typical narratives that coachees come up with – a) Founder is anxious – “My startup is neither scaling nor can I shut it down. I feel
