When someone says they are completely rational and emotions don’t really matter in their life, I often wonder how much of that is really true.
One way to see through this is to start with their goals. I ask them what they are trying to achieve. Then keep asking why.
A coachee once told me that he wanted to grow in his career and earn a lot of money. To him, this was a rational choice.
So I asked: why?
Thinking a little deeper, he said he preferred a comfortable and luxurious life. He wanted the freedom to spend time with people he cared about. He wanted to feel secure, successful and connected to his family and friends.
That picture of a “good life” was not rational in the same way an Excel sheet is rational.
It came from feelings, desires and longings, and also from the belief that these would make his life fulfilling.
Emotions, then, are at the root. They have a much bigger role in deciding where we want to go in the first place.
Once the deeper desires/emotions are clearer, rationality becomes the enabler that helps us make the smaller decisions along the way. Which job should I take? Where should I put more effort? Should I spend this money or save it?
After years in corporate environments, where rational thinking is valued so highly, it is easy to forget this deeper layer.
We become very good at optimizing our decisions without stopping to ask whether the life we are optimizing for is still the life we actually want.
That is why it is important to periodically reconnect with our emotions and examine what we genuinely care about.
Otherwise, we may become extremely rational about climbing a ladder, only to realise much later that it was leaning against the wrong wall.
What is your take? Please share them in the comments.
