Identity.
Ever wondered why some senior executives — financially secure for life — continue doing roles they dislike?
I used to wonder the same.
Once, during a candid conversation, an executive opened up. He said, “I continue because it scares me to see who I am without this title.”
It wasn’t about money but about identity. And he isn’t alone.
I’ve seen many successful leaders stay in roles that drain them — not because they want to or find them challenging, but because stepping away forces a far scarier question: Who am I without this role?
I’ve been there too. At one point, I resigned from a job and decided to take a two-month break. I even served a long notice period without applying anywhere — the plan was simple: relax, explore hobbies, breathe.
But ironically the very next day after my last working day, I started interviewing.
Why? Because spending even a single day without an active professional identity felt unsettling. Scary.
For many of us, the absence of a professional identity opens a can of worms ==> Imposter syndrome, feeling of “not good enough.”, a sense of failure (even when an outsider would objectively call us successful), feeling of lagging behind others etc.
To be fair, professional identities aren’t all bad. In tough times, they help. “I’ve solved hard problems before. I can solve this one too.” They give confidence. Stability. A sense of self-esteem.
But when that identity becomes the only place we derive our sense of self from, inner conflict starts.
Over time, I have realized that the problem isn’t having a strong professional identity. The problem is having only one identity.
When that happens, every career decision becomes heavier than it needs to be. Every role change feels existential. Every pause feels like a loss of self.
Solution: It is consciously cultivating other identities — and letting oneself take pride in them.
Not as backups. But as real, meaningful parts of who we are.
Examples –
Being present as a family member, without multitasking in the head.
Showing up consistently in a community or group — not to lead or advise, but to belong.
Spending time on interests where there is no metric, no applause, no “impact”.
If your professional title disappeared tomorrow, what other identities are strong enough to hold you steady? Write it in the comments.
P.S. I’m currently practising coaching techniques to help people get clarity about their careers/emotions/challenges. I’m offering a few sessions. DM me if you’re curious to explore.
