I once asked a coachee to track his emotions through the day.
One afternoon, he met a friend who had just received a golden visa and was preparing to move abroad. He congratulated his friend but noticed an odd feeling inside him. Later, he recognised it as “envy”.
When he told me, I asked:
“So… do you long to live abroad?”
He immediately replied, “No way! I’m very happy and better off living in India.”
That raised a question—if he didn’t want to live abroad, why did envy show up?
I asked him to visualise what he imagined his friend doing after moving abroad.
He pictured the friend travelling to new places, exploring nature, and simply enjoying life.
And then it clicked.
The envy wasn’t about the golden visa, or money, or lifestyle.
It was about travel.
He hadn’t travelled much in the last few years, especially after having a child.
What he truly longed for wasn’t a foreign life—it was the joy of exploring nature, something he could actually do just a few hours’ drive from home.
This is something we see often. When we feel envy—scrolling through Instagram or LinkedIn—it’s easy to assume we’re craving someone’s success, wealth, or fame. But often, envy is just a mirror showing us what we are missing.
It might be freedom. Or rest. Or time with family.
Not necessarily luxury, money or status.
And mistaking one for the other can waste years of energy chasing the wrong thing.
So the next time you feel that sting of envy, ask yourself: What am I really longing for?
