John was a product leader at a global firm known for its people-centred culture. He was an empathetic leader who always put his team members first. He cared deeply about his team members’ careers and emotional well-being and didn’t reprimand them when mistakes were made. He spent a lot of time mentoring and fostering a positive work environment.
John’s people-centred leadership style was a huge success. His team members loved working under him, and the results showed. However, John’s leadership journey took an unexpected turn when he decided to leave the global firm and join a startup.
The startup was struggling, and John was brought in to turn things around. He continued to lead with his people-centred approach, but it didn’t work as expected. He couldn’t deliver what he promised.
Feeling frustrated, John sought the help of a mentor.
The mentor asked John – “Hey John, what is your assessment of why things are not working well here?”
John replied, “Maybe my leadership qualities are not quite there yet. I believe I need to motivate people more often”
“Doing that would be a fool’s errand”
“How? Then, what do I do now?”
“Let me give you a mental task,” said the mentor and she continued,
“Let us say there are 2 managers and let us call them A & B.
Manager A is very task-oriented, transactional, quick to point out mistakes, and mandates course correction. He/she takes tough decisions very easily (including firing people when they are not performing), runs the product top-down, commanding in nature, and micro-manages on critical items.
Manager B takes a people-first approach – very friendly, trusts the team and delegates work without a second thought. Cares a lot about team members and mentors them. Just like you!
Tell me which style is better”
John answered, “Obviously B”.
The mentor “yes, as per popular culture, B is a better manager and A is despised”.
John asked, “Is that not right?”
The mentor said, “The truth is – A manager should master both styles of leadership (A & B) and use them depending on the context”
“How?” enquired John
“In the context of your career, a people-centred approach worked well in a stable and supportive environment, but it wasn’t effective in the startup environment where accountability was crucial. You must therefore become task-oriented, make tough decisions when necessary, and hold your team members accountable.
“I find it uncomfortable being that way.”
“Do you not realize that some of your team members have started taking advantage of your nature?
“Yes I do realize it but…” fumbled John
“A leader needs to be supportive in general but he/she should have the ability to switch gears and become tough as the situation warrants it. We call this ‘Tough Empathy’. By being only empathetic and not tough when required, you end up spoiling them“
“Now I understand this. But how do I convince my nicer self about this” replied John
“Well, look at your behaviour from the eyes of people who are giving their 100%. How will they react when they see you being soft on those who are taking things for granted? Wouldn’t that be demotivating for them?”
“I see your point. That makes sense”
John took the mentor’s advice to heart and started to develop a new approach that blended the best of both approaches. He continued to be empathetic and caring towards his team members but also held them accountable and made tough decisions when necessary. This new approach (“Tough Empathy”) helped John to turn things around at the startup and deliver exceptional results.
