A coachee came to me with a frustration- “I keep postponing quite a few things indefinitely.”
When asked about some examples, he mentioned – “I want to start exercising, write stories, and do AI courses. But somehow, I never seem to find the time for these.”
Then he paused and added, “The strange part is… I know where the time goes. At home, I end up watching TV or scrolling through social media for hours. I know it’s not helping me, but I keep doing it.”
At first glance, it looked like a classic case of procrastination.
I got curious and asked him, “Tell me about the things you are not procrastinating.”
He thought for a moment. “Client deliverables? Never. Dinner with friends or family members? I mostly make it. If I commit something to someone at the office or elsewhere, I somehow make time.”
That was the moment the pattern revealed itself.
He wasn’t procrastinating work or responsibilities. He was only delaying the things that were for himself.
Exercising, writing, learning. The things that nourished his mind and spirit.
So I asked him gently, “Do you notice something here?”
He looked at me, puzzled.
I continued, “It seems like anything involving others automatically becomes important. But when it comes to something involving only you… your body, your joy, your inner world… it somehow slips down the priority list.”
I continued, “So somewhere, are you telling yourself that everyone else’s needs matter more than your own?”
He went silent for a minute but then agreed.
He understood that it was not laziness or poor time management. It was just a deeply conditioned belief.
He had become excellent at responding to the world, but had forgotten how to respond to himself.
I reminded him of something we all hear every time we board a flight: “Put your own oxygen mask first before helping others.”
It sounds so simple in the air. Yet on the ground, some of us live the exact opposite way.
Why do many do this? While there are many reasons, the most common one is around culture. Culturally, prioritizing ourselves is often misunderstood and seen as selfish.
Unfortunately, when we keep postponing ourselves, we slowly disconnect from the very source from which we give.
And over time, what looks like productivity on the outside can become emptiness on the inside.
The mind starts resisting and happiness becomes a rare commodity. It is the soul’s way of showing us what we have stopped valuing. Our own selves!
Takeaways from this conversation:
* Not all procrastination is about laziness or poor habits or hidden emotions like shame
* Sometimes we delay only the things that are meant for our own growth and satisfaction
* Chronic self-neglect often hides behind “being responsible”
* Prioritizing yourself is not selfish; it is what allows you to show up fully for others
What is one thing you have been postponing lately that is really about taking care of yourself and how you overcame it? Please share in the comments.
